Thinking About Jake

 Some of you all may remember that Jake has pictures of himself with his Chinese family. I usually keep them with our other pictures and keep one in a frame sitting out. I hadn't seen them or thought about them since the move (I'm still trying to find things!). But the other day, out of the blue, Jake asked for his "Chinese pictures".  I told him that I would get them out later as I was trying to finish up schoolwork with the other two. But Jake pressed a bit and said something like, "I hope you still have them, Mom." 

This got me in gear. I stopped what I was doing and started scouting them out telling Jake that they were "just around here somewhere". I certainly would not lose something so important. I looked and looked. Couldn't find them. I had a slight sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew they were here, but where?

Jake gave me this look. This is the one I used to get from the back seat of the car when he first came home and was learning English. The worried, "I-hope-your-not-insane" look. The "I can't believe this woman is my mother" look. 

(It took him several weeks before he would go anywhere without his backpack!)

As he kept repeating, "Mom, I hoped you didn't losed them", I kept searching. I finally took a break because he kept following me around making me feel worse. After taking a break from the scavenger hunt, I found them in a pile of unsorted photos- not where they belonged. Oh, the relief we both felt! I know how important they are to him. Every once in a while, he will take them out and slowly go through each of them over and over again. It's been over a year since he left their family to join ours, and he still holds them very dearly. The big fish tales and the experiences he remembers come far fewer than before, but he still loves his first family. What a painful past to revisit. What an amazing kid.

I thought back to this picture when he first came home. It had been taken late one night on one of his first night's home. I put everyone to bed and thought they were all asleep only to find Jake completely dressed with his brothers belt and jeans on ready to leave. Where? I don't know where he thought he was going to go. Home? He wasn't crying or upset, just so forlorn looking that night. 


And look how far he's come. Taller, healthier, heavier, and happier. He is a survivor. And it is amazing to take a step back and look at what he has been through and how far he's come. It is amazing to see how God carried him through life to join us. We are so blessed! The pictures of his Chinese family and his first days home are only a reminder. 

(I only took this picture to show my mom his pooch! He's such a tiny guy despite how much he eats and the last couple of nights I've noticed this little bump of a tummy!)


Jake fell asleep while coloring in his Bible notebook today. I think he was done with school today, don't you? 


Jake, you are one amazing kid. I love you so much!

sidknee  – (September 26, 2011 at 6:47 PM)  

Heather, I'm soooo glad you found the pictures. He will cherish them forever I'm sure.
And yes, he is one amazing kid.
Does he still tell the big story how he cut the apple and cut himself ? Funny kid !

Anonymous –   – (September 26, 2011 at 9:09 PM)  

Sweet, sweet boy....I miss them all so much!
Mom

Omi –   – (September 27, 2011 at 5:57 AM)  

Jake, miss you so much. Mommy has hugs and kisses to give from two Grandmother's that wish we weren't so far away.

Love you all

The Raudenbush Family  – (September 28, 2011 at 11:38 PM)  

What a sweet little guy. He is getting so big -- tummy and heart.

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